We're #1!! We're #1!! We're #1!! U-S-A!! U-S-A!!

Technically this is work safe, but if you work with paranoid prudes or sit where someone is right behind you, you should check this at home. There's no nudity, but damn close. Interesting info. Annoying music.

GOOD Magazine: Internet Porn Transparency

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I had to watch this 3 times before I got it. It was tough to focus.

Bet you can't guess who my newest friend is on MySpace.

Happy day all you Mothers!!

THESE are the people I have to deal with!!

OK, so today, I'm wearing my Gordie Howe jersey.

A so called hockey fan here at work asks me......you're not gonna believe this....I'm STILL friggin...dumbstruck....
He asks me "Who's Howe?"

..........

Who....

WHO'S HOWE?!?!?!!!!!

So I tells him, I says, this is what I say to him, I say "The two greatest hockey players in the HISTORY of hockey are Wayne Gretzky........and Gordie Howe."

"Oh......"

THEN....omg....I can't even begin to tell you...wait, I guess I have begun...
anyhoo...
THIS is what he says next...
He says....
Looks right at me he does and honestly, no joking, asks.....
"..and what team did he play for?"
Didya...
Do you SEE the picture...
I'm wearing....

IT'S GORDIE HOWE FOR CRYIN OUT LOUD!!!

MR. HOCKEY!!!

What team did he play for...

What TEAM did Gordie Friggin HOWE play for?!?

Please....Canada...I beg you...just let me in.
Please?
I'll be good.
Just take me.
NO passport.
NO 5yr wait to become a citizen.
NO...um....having to eat mayonaise on my fries.
I'm down with the vinegar, just not the mayo. I even like the ketchup flavoUred chips. (Note the CORRECT spelling of flavoUred, with the U and everything!)

Please?

I won't breed.
Honest.
I was posta be born Canadian.
I just know it.
Please let me be one of you.
LOOK AT WHAT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH HERE!!!
:(

Who's Howe....what team.....

GEEBUS!!

:)

Every day this world gets weirder und weirder

I can see it now..."Smoke up Granny!!! Dayum...it's puff puff PASS bitch! Don't be Bogartin'!" His next robbery involved drinks and possibly dinner and a movie.

I've got questions, they've got answers

I axed KOM, Wendy and Lushy questions.

KOM has answered.Scroll down and read, he's funny. You'll like him way more than me and won't come back. That's ok though, cuz I read his blog more than mine too. Mine sucks; but in a good way.

Wendy is done. Good luck finding it amongst all of her vanity/boob pics.

Lushy returned my email via some daemon thingy meaning that I sent them to the wrong place.

sent them off again.

Happy Not Celebrated in Mexico/Nobody likes The French Day!

You gotta admit "Cinco de Mayo" is a lot easier to say than Diez y Seis de Septiembre (Desi Arnaz did wha?!?), which is the REAL Mexican Independence day.

I think Cinco de Mayo is only celebrated by my Mexi-merican peeps because nobody likes the French. See, on this day Mexico defeated the stinky French by throwing buckets of soapy water on them("I'm melting....I'm meltiiiiing.."), and there was much rejoicing (Yaaaaaay.).

I like Cinco de Mayo better than Sept 16th because it's less confusing for me. My Dads family is half Spanish, half Mexican. Sept 16th means I have to celebrate one part of me kicking the other parts ass.
PLUS, nobody cruises up & down the Blvd in a sweet Lowrider in Sept. It's simply not done.

So, Happy Cinco de Mayo everyone. Drink responsibly, and if you can, to truly enjoy this festive occasion, kick a french person in the shin.

Viva La Raza and all that.
(Chin nod thing)
Simone

The sea.....always the sea......

One of my all time favorite Kids In The Hall skits.
I quote it quite a bit and NOBODY knows what the hell I'm talking about.

I...sell....SHOES!!!

So...

...one of my coworkers is going to jail for embezzling up to $8 million dollars.

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