What an odd looking word.
I wish there were a way to acurately convey tone on here. Should one, and by one I mean me, that is I, the person blogging, slap a ton of those damn emoticons before or after every sentence or paragraph?
It rained today :(
:/ I think I shouldn't have eaten that bean dip I found in the back of the fridge :/
Why don't you go phuc yerself! :)
Why DON'T you go phuc yerself? :*
Some have read my crap for years(!), yes years(!). Not here mind you, but an old blog. Some remember the funny stuff, some the whiney, and some the bitchy. Not to mention the ecessive use of commas and poor grammar.
....or the lack of an X in the word excessive.
What I'm getting at is that no matter how I may write something, that is, how I mean it, you're (not your) just going to assign a tone to it however you want, right?
What if I don't know how I feel? Would that have any effect whatsoever on how you read this? I mean, as long as you didn't know that I didn't know how I felt about whatever.
Hm....
Let's proceed (another odd looking word that I probably spelled wrong.).
Have you seen Fight Club? Ya know that part where Ed Norton beats the snot out of the pretty boy and when Brad Pitt asks him what that was all about he says something like "I wanted to destroy something beautiful."?
I did that.
Well, I didn't beat the snot out of anybody and I didn't want to destroy something beautiful, I just did. I did; and as much as I'd like to fix it I feel like I don't deserve it anyway. Phuc me, right? I fucked it up. I did my damndest to go about shit in the worst possible manner, or that's how it seems anway. Phuc me. Fuck. Me. I don't deserve it. What emoticon should I use here.....? :l? :\? Is there a blank stare one?
Next up.....
I had a slight plan. I went after a dream. I got fucked out of a few thousand dollars (fucked myself out of a few thou?).
On we go...
I've been avoiding pretty much everyone on earth. I'd be no fun to be around. That is assuming I ever was.
I feel like a huge.....void? No. Gap? Hm...I'm a.....bleh. Yes. I am Bleh incarnate. I am become Bleh.
I miss.
I'm missing....something.
I'm missing something in the details or something in ME.
Perhaps I'm missing a bit of butter to make my bitter batter better.
Maybe I missed an episode, got up to go to the bathroom and missed a key part of the plot.
Missed my plane, train or automobile.
Misplaced my keys?
I'm missing something.
I'm MISSING something.
I'm missing some thing.
Puzzle without a piece.
Puzzled without peace.
I feel a part of my has always been hollow. Head. Heart. Soul. The hollow just moves from one location to the next and it's wanderlust is driving me batty.
I miss. Miss out(?).
Miss.
Out.
(Insert appropriate emoticon)
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Tone
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3 comments:
As I sit here with a goofy half-smile (if anyone saw me they'd think I was loony, methinks), I'm thinking about how much I miss you. Work bites without you. Your (not you're) sarcasm, your wit (ha), and your music selection...
You've simply followed the immortal words of Mr. Seger, and have turn(ed) the page...I'm jealous that you have more guts than me.
Hey man, don't get down on yourself too much. This is the nature of our generation. Unsatisfied, questioning, lamenting, wanting more for ourselves, seeing the dismal lack of more we currently have, and a good chunk of it has nothing to do with monitary gains.
To use another line from Fight Club, "We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."
It ain't a happy place to be, but there is safety in numbers. And believe me, there are more of us who feel the way you are feeling (even if they won't admit it), then those who don't feel that way.
To use another line from another movie (Jarheads), "Welcome to the suck."
Just hang in there man. You've got multiple ways of getting in touch with me, so if you need to talk, then drop me a line.
Sounds like things have been sucking for you.
I've missed your blog, though.
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