Hello friends

This shall be my opus.
This shall be my epitaph.
This shall be my "manifesto".
This shall be my confessional.
I will not lie to you even though I have lied to myself.
I will bare all.
I will prostrate myself here.
I will flagellate myself (look it up :P).
This is NOT my cry for attention.
This is my way of giving.
This is what I am good at.
This medium shall be my tool to teach.
This shall be my way of begging you to not be like me.
I want you to learn from me.
Do not make my mistakes.
Do not be a dreamer who dreams TOO much.
This shall simply be facts.
This shall be about who I am and what makes me feel like a failure or a success.
This shall be about my stupidity and my smartiness.
This shall be......so many things.

I will open up my soul to you dear friends and you shall see all the ugly, sad, pathetic truth of WHO I am. You will see what I have done and what I continue to do to myself. You will also occasionally get some stupid random news item or what have you.
If you like dark humor.
If you slow down to look at car wrecks.
THIS will be the blog for you.
Again...this is NOT a cry for help, I don't want nor do I think any of you CAN help, this is simply me venting, ranting hollowing out all the SHIT inside so that maybe, eventually you, I, the universe can see to the very CORE of what the fuck is wrong with me.
Save your sadness for you.
Save your pity for others more deserving.
Save your angry "Stop feeling sorry for yourself! You suck, you faggot!" comments for others.

This is me simply emptying out all that is inside.
Some is good, and we will laugh together.
Some is bad, and we will shake our heads and "tsk...tsk what a shame" together, but it is not a pity party it is a wake, a......burning down so the Phoenix can rise again (Damn that was good. Overly dramatic shit ROCKS!).
This shall be my field of sorrow that I will harvest and till (one "l" or two? Crap man, I'm related to farm folk. They are gonna kick my ass for not knowing that!) so that I can grow something, ANYTHING better than what I have with all the shit I have available (Whoa, that was good too! 'specially the "shit"/manure metaphor-ish thing. Nice.)

And I'll throw in the occasional "Paris Hilton is the richest trailer trash in the world. How can you spend all that money and STILL look like a $5 whore with a Walmart addiction? " or whatever silly thing pops into my head from time to time just so we don't completely lose it k?

k.

This will be my....um....sorry, a woman with a really nice ass wearing cords just walked in. what was I talking about? Ah yes...wallow, wallow, bitch, moan...sad..very sad....insane...sometimes randomly funny.
Got it!

Read if you want.
Believe if you want.
I don't care, and yet I do.
I will write about whatever the fuck I like, it's my bloggy and I'll cry if I want to.

:P

We're changing our name and passing the savings on to YOU!

Something like that.

I'm not the Jerk Of All trades anymore.
I'm a sad, sad, silly, lonely man with a dark sense of humor (humoUr).

Some things will be the same.
The randomness.
The WTF.....?!?-ness.
Hell, I might even post something positive and shiny every once in awhile.

I'm back.
Tell your friends.
I don't have any or I'd tell them.

Ah yes, I'm changing my name.
I have a few to choose from but I think I'm going with one in particular.

Be back soon.

Sorta back, I guess, if anyone cares. Meh.

May I just say what a truly, truly sad statement it is about where I work when people consider a sweatervest "dressed up".
"You got a job inteview?"

At my old job(s) I wore ties quiet a bit. I prolly have.....30-40 ties. From todays reaction, if I broke one out I'd get "HOLY CRIPES! WHO DIED?! DID YER MA DIE? I'M SO SORRY!"

Or perhaps

"You're runnin for President?"

Or maybe

"Oh, so now you're Mr. Tie Man huh?! 'Spose you think yer better than me now huh?!"
(that would be "'Spose you think yer better than me now hey?!" For to all my Canuck pals.)

There, aren't you glad you kept checking back to see when I was gonna start posting again?
Well worth the wait if you ask me, and you didn't.

Question(s):

Do you believe in love at first sight?
Love, period?

I used to.
Now......not so much.
I'm even starting to believe that there is no (Santa Clause?) "perfect mate", a balance, an equal.
It's ME here universe. Should it be so damn hard to find a silly, idiot GIRL to hang with?

May as well go back to the ex.

Meh.

Yes, it was well worth the wait *hey?

*"Hey"....next I'll be saying "sleeps" and/or "Fortnight".

I'm sorry, I'm not blogging right now but if you leave a message I'll ignore you as soon as humanly possible.

Have a great _____!

:)

Back around June.

..ish.