Hey, why do some children feel the need to let loose a bloodcurdling SHRIEK(!) as if they were just stabbed in the eye with an ice pick or stumbled upon their mothers severed head, when they are merely playing tag or some such nonsense?
Why do some people TELL you what your thinking? You know, those folks that are trying to manipulate you, whether they are conscious of it or not, they're trying to get a reaction, or to find out what you really think. "I know you're ignoring me because you know how much it bothers me. I know that you probably think that I'm blah blah blah when I'm not!" You know what? Shut the fuck up. I won't play your phuct up little game. I have never in my years on this rock had one of these accusatory(sp?) dorks guess right. You DON'T know what I'm thinking. You DON'T know why I'm doing or not doing shit. You know why? Because you're not talking TO me, you're talking AT me and saying all the shit you want to hear. Fine. Go ahead and ramble on, get it out of your system and when you're done with your little pity party or whatever it is, come back to Jerkville and we'll hang. I don't play that bullshit. Never have. Never will.
Are eggs meat? The Catholic part of my family and my Catholic buds are all doing the lent (caps?)/ no meat on fridays thing and they're all ok with cramming eggs in their pieholes. Aren't eggs PRE-chickens and therefor meat? Nobody's ever given me a straight answer on this one. I think that eggs are meat and yer all foolin' (F-f-f-foolin'.... Aw, f-f-foolin'...) yourselves.
William.......F........Buckley...(deep breath).....has....died. Nobody paused like that dude. So long, Bill.
Why are they Chipmunks? Shouldn't they be Nutmunks? Woodmunks? I dunno.
U.F.O. means Unidentified Flying Object, not flying saucer from another world, k? If'n you look up in the sky and you're all "wtf is that over there?" then you can't identify the object which is in the sky. Even if a second later you can clearly see that it's a plane, briefly, you did, in fact, see a U.F.O.......and then you identified it. Most of what people see is experimental aircraft, top secret shit. If ther is life out there, I seriously doubt they're here to skin cows and rape your ass. Little grey men with huge noggins aren't sucking our goats. Grow up.
Now, Bigfoot on the other hand, that dude's real.
Just sayin.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
I got some for ya...
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5 comments:
People don't know *how* to censor themselves when they tell you what to feel or think. I hate that. I had a girl at work tell me my pants were bright so my reply was "so what?"
Love the Leppard reference.
They rocked.
Nice Bigfoot shout out. I loved Hedberg's comment on ol' BF. "I think Bigfoot is blurry, that's the problem. It's not the photographer's fault. Bigfoot is blurry. And that's extra scary to me, because there's a large, out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside."
Not as funny when written.
I worked at a daycare for five years. You think one kid can shriek loudly? Try a hundred of them. And it's more contagious than chicken pox. One does it & they all follow suit, like 99 indpendent echoes. Only instead of being softer, they can louder. Like they absorb the sound of any shriek that preceded their own. I need an Advil just remembering it.
Also? I *hate* when people tell me what I think or feel. Unless I somehow grew a teleprompter over my head with a direct stream of my thoughts, no one has any freaking clue what is inside my head.
Great post! This is what I have been saying about UFOs all along and I agree with you on the sucking the goats thing. "You know that is the chupacabra, I know you do."
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