A Dud

Way back when I was a wee lad of 10 or 11, I was enrolled(?) in a summer camp. It wasn't a sleepaway camp or anything. They actually picked you up in a van in the morning, took you to do different activities during the day and then dropped you off around 4pm. It was only a Monday through Friday thing so you had to find your own fun on the weekends. Some days we went to a pool and swam until noon, then they took us to a small theatre where we'd see some old flick like the original Planet of the Apes (You blew it all to HELL!!!! DAMN YOU!!) or we'd be forced to sit through a horrible Benji movie. More time than not it was a double feature, I can't recall all of them, but they mostly sucked. We'd go bowling a lot. Anyhoo...
This "camp" was a citywide thing, they'd pick up kids from all over the place and we'd all meet up together at some park for lunch. You got to meet kids from all over town, and by kids I mean girls. Sweet, pretty, nice (usually) smelling, mysterious girls.

Well...

One time this guy on my bus (Everybody said bus instead of van. I never could figure out why), I can't recall his name, fell in deep like-like (Love was ucky. You 'member.) with this girl from another bus. So, every day he'd admire her from afar, but never, ever, ever, everever, go talk to her. I think he was 12. Who knows how old she was. Well, one day I got tired of him going on and on about how pretty she was and blah blah blah, so I pretty much triple-dog dared him to go talk to her. That's right, I said it, in a total breach of etiquette I went straight to the triple. He wussed out. I made fun of him. He said "Well if you're so brave Mister Smart-guy, why don't YOU go ask her what her name is n stuff?!".

So I did.

Ha!

Wuss!

I went up and said hi. Asked her name. She asked why. I said my friend liked her. She asked which friend. I went to point him out. He was nowhere to be found. She and her friends giggled. I said that he was too shy or sumthin. They giggled some more. I said I'd go get him. They asked my name. I told 'em. Bye. Bye.

I didn't see him until we were leaving the park. I continued the wuss calling, but I told him her name. No, I don't remember it. It was a looooong time ago, didn't you read the friggin Benji reference? Stupid dog. THAT'S when Chevy Chase started being UN-funny, that damn Benji movie.

Benji.

Bleh.

A few days later we were at another park for lunch and we happened to park RIGHT next to the girls van. Homeboy ducked (OK, we didn't say Homeboy back then. My buddy ducked) and then promptly disappeared on me again, and this was after a few days of "I'll talk to her next time! I mean it! I'll show YOU!". Yeah.....POOF. Gone. After all the kids scattered and the girls weren't around, he made an appearance again. This time he wanted me to go talk to her for him and to give her a gift. A box of Milk Duds. I KNOW! Milk Duds! I TOLD you he like-liked her!

*cough*

So....

I said no way. If he wanted her to have them, HE had to go talk to her and give them to her. He said ok; but I had to go break the ice first. Sigh....ok. Stupid wussy. I track her and her friends down. They're sitting in the shade enjoying the lovely weather. I RE-tell the whole deal. More giggling. They ask where he is this time, and juuuuuust as I'm about to turn to point him out here comes Wussboy, running full friggin tilt past us, like some sort of WWII movie strafing run where a plane is swooping down from out of the sky, it's bullets kicking up rows of dirt as it flies past(!), but instead of shooting at us, Wussboy, he launches the box of Milk Duds at her.

SMACK!

Right in the chest.

.....

No giggling.

"Um....that was him."

.......

I said sorry and promptly left.