Jerk & The Saturn Vapor Trail

3:42am

18mph-60mph: 8 seconds

60mph-100mph: 10-12 seconds

100mph-112mph: 5-6 seconds

Sudden, hard downshift around 113-114mph

114mph-119/120mph: Unknown. Reached downtown area and encountered traffic.

120-ish-35mph: 3 seconds by applying gentle pressure to brake pedal.


Jerk needs to live further from his job.

j/k

The night we met, I knew I needed you so
And if I had the chance, I'd never let you go.
So won't you say you love me,
I'll make you so proud of me.
We'll make 'em turn their heads every place we go.

So won't you, please, (be my, be my baby)
Be my little baby, (my one and only baby)
Say you'll be my darlin', (be my, be my baby)
Be my baby now, (my one and only baby).


I'll make you happy, baby, just wait and see.
For every kiss you give me I'll give you three.
Oh, since the day I saw you
I have been waiting for you.
You know I will adore you 'til eternity.

So won't you, please, (be my, be my baby)
Be my little baby, (my one and only baby)
Say you'll be my darlin', (be my, be my baby)
Be my baby now, (my one and only baby).


So come on and, please (be my, be my baby)
Be my little baby, (my one and only baby)
Say you'll be my darlin', (be my, be my baby)
Be my baby now, (my one and only baby).


(Be my, be my baby), Be my little baby.
(My one and only baby), oh,
(Be my, be my baby), oh,
(My one and only baby). - The Ronettes

Congrats to all of this years Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame inductees.

REM too, even thought they suck and Stipes voice makes me want to tap his face with my knuckles.

Repeatedly.

More Than A Feeling....

Geezus, Brad Delp, the lead singer of the band BOSTON died this weekend too.
Looks like Jerk is jamming a lot of BOSTON today. This sucks. Who's next?

Brad, thanks for all the great music, especially "Amanda", one of the coolest power ballads songs ever.

Richard Jeni Dead

On Sunday, comedian Richard Jeni died from an apparently self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

The world is a sadder place without him, mine anyway.

On one of the blogs I found while trying to get more info, there was a very sweet comment left..
"He killed himself because he ran out of Paxil. Good. One less twerp in the world." or something to that effect. Some people really lift up the rest of the human race.

Jeni was a funny motherfucker.

Period.

300

It's better than I thought it would be, but then again, I'm kind of a history geek. You might not like it as much as I did. I think I might go see it again tomorrow.

It IS better to die on your feet, than to live on your knees.

Find your inner Spartan. :)

I wanted to come back and elaborate a bit since I liked this movie so much.

300 is NOT a documentary. It is not a step-by-step retelling of the facts. It IS a very important part of military/Greek/Roman/Western Civilization history told the masses in an easy to swallow form. It is history taught to you very "old school", in story form. In parts you feel as if you are sitting around the campfire being told of heroes...men AND women who lived long ago, in other parts you feel as if you are watching a play. Well, I did anyway, but as I said, I'm a bit of a history geek, so I was probably just a bit excited about it because I am familiar with what happened.

If you want all the facts, as well as we know them anyway, and you want to be walked through.....this movie will make money, The History Channel will start doing stuff about the Battle of Thermopylae. If you want to be entertained a bit while you're being taught a little history, you like Shakespearean stuff, thought Troy was ok or just enjoy "Gladiator movies" (AIRPLANE!!) go check this one out. I think you'll like it.

...and if you don't, at least you didn't have to sit through that peice of shit The Black Dahlia.

The Tower

(Can you figure it out?)

There are 12 commandments
There are 12 divisions
12 are the pagans who have mapped the sky
In the outer circle
to the inner sanctum
From the octave at the end of time

The Fountain, The Trinity
The Pilgrim is searching for blood
To look for his own free will
The Stone of Infinity washed in the flood

Lovers in The Tower
The Moon and Sun divided and The Hanged Man smiles
Lovers in The Tower
The Moon and Sun divided, let The Fool decide

In the atom circle where we break the stars
Hammer into anvil snuffing out the sun
Witness all the killing
See the birth of Mars
Our religion thrown into the fire

The Fountain, The Trinity
The Pilgrim is searching for blood
To look for his own free will
The Stone of Infinity washed in the flood

Lovers in The Tower
The Moon and Sun divided and The Hanged Man smiles
Lovers in the tower
The Moon and Sun divided, The Magician laughs

Lovers in The Tower
The Moon and Sun divided and The Priestess kneels
Lovers in The Tower
The Moon and Sun divided, let The Fool decide

Lovers in the tower
The Moon and Sun divided and The Hanged Man smiles
Lovers in The Tower
The Moon and Sun divided, let The Fool decide

Lovers in The Tower
The Moon and Sun divided, The Priestess kneels to receive
Lovers in The Tower
The Moon and Sun divided, The Magician laughs...

- Bruce Dickinson (from The Chemical Wedding)

Stroking my stick

I'm thinkin about shootin pool down at The Wynkoop Brewery tonight around 6ish til....

a) I get too drunk to even lean against the table.

b) I get my ass handed to me 3 games in a row.

c) I get bored of shooting pool by myself.

d) All of the above.

Who's in?

I'll know for sure if I feel like goin around 4.
I dont mind going out by myself, it just gets old quick and I go right back to my hovel.

Yep, Jerk (J...it's "J" if you show up, I don't want you to yell "Hey Jerk!" and have a bunch of guys respond. It'll just confuse you. Me too.) WILL be at Wynkoop @ 6 til whenever. At least a couple hours. I'll be in a black shirt, gray pants and hanging out with my buddy Jon. He's tall, uber skinny and not anywhere near as cute as I am. Maybe I'll see ya there?!

Jerk: The Wonder Years

A long, long time ago on the whole other side of town.......

A 6yr old Jerk was trying to kiss a girl and/or get her to kiss him back. Yes, Jerk always, ALWAYS liked girls.

Inner Lil Jerk (ILJ): They are pretty.

Yes, yes they are buddy, let me finish the story k?

ILJ: And they smell pretty too!

That they do, that they do. Can you stop jumping up and down like that for a minute while I tell these nice people something? K? Good. Yeah, just go sit...yes, you can watch TV. NO! No, you can't watch "Hairpull 4:Ponytail Girls" that's...um...yes, they are pretty, but um....it's not for little boys...*cough*..grownups only. Just....here, watch this Godzilla movie. Good. YES, you can have a corndog! Geezus! How mom kept from killing us I have no idea. STOP JUMPING!!

OK...sorry, where was I? Ah yes...

Young Jerk couldn't get the cute girl to kiss him during last recess. SO, saddened and slightly frustrated (She kissed another boy. Slut.), he went back into the classroom, picked up his stuff, put it away in his cubby (like you're posta do at the end of the day), grabbed his coat and walked out the door, across the playground and down the street to go home. Enough of this crappy can't get no sugar day!
Lil Jerk walked a couple blocks over to Monaco & Leetsdale (One of the most dangerous intersections in town), waited for the light just like momma taught him, crossed the street (looking both ways the whole time just like momma taught him) and walked a couple more blocks to the apartment complex he lived in JUST in time to meet momma as she was getting into the car to go pick Lil Jerk up. "Hi Momma! I walk-ed home so you don't havta to go get me!" (BIG SMILE)

Momma was not happy.

Momma wasn't mad at Lil Jerk, she was mad at the school. She was mad because when she called them they didn't even know that Lil Jerk was gone. Momma was not happy.

This is a very telling story.
Jerk cannot remember any other day of first grade. Not one. He can remember the non-kissing day, but nuthin else.


Jerk wants a girl to kiss him. He wants her to kiss him SO bad, but she won't. She wants to. She really wants to. He knows it, she knows it and I think you guys would know it too. She won't kiss him though and the more he asks her to, the more she runs away from him. Other girls on the playground walk up and punch him in the arm (really hard too!), but Jerk wants to kiss this one girl. Yeah, they're pretty and kissing them would prolly be nice, but Jerk wants to kiss this other girl.

Jerk isn't getting his coat and going home this time. Instead he's back in the classroom drawing with crayons, trying to use those shitty ass scissors and trying to keep Billy Whatisface from eating all his paste.
Every once in awhile that pretty girl will come by and ask him what he's drawing...
"Pitchers of you"
"Oh"
"Do you want 'em?"
(reaches out hand but stops herself)"Y..no. No, I don't wannem... You really think I'm dat preddy?"
"Yep" (Scribble...scribble..scribble)
"OK....I'ma be outside on the swings."
"K" (Scribble...scribble..scribble..)
"See ya"
"K" (smile)

No more chasing.
No more walking away.

Think I'll just sit at the top of the slide and stare at her every once in awhile and wait for her to wave and make me smile and tingle all over. Oh joyous bliss! Oh magical, heartswelling rush of warmth! The giddy, dizzying, hide your face so no one can see how happy/shy you are wave of head ducking, shoulder raising........love?

Sigh......

God help me.

Meanwhile....

There's that other girl who punches me. HARD.
She likes to hang upsidedown from the Jungle-gym and tell me that she'll let me pull her pigtails.

I'm damn tempted....

God help me.

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