Q & J pt. 1

KOM was kind (twisted?) enough to hit me back with questions after I "interviewed" him on his blog. Since my "Muse" hath left me I need something to do, right? So, without further ado (whatever that is) here we go....

1) One of my best friends is getting married on 7/7/07. I think there should be an Iron Maiden song to commemorate - what are the lyrics (double plus-good points for guitar tab!)?

First, I'd like to point out that King Diamond already recorded The Seventh day of July, 1777 so the "7" thing has been done.

Nextly, your buddies wedding wouldn't get the ol' Maiden juices flowing HOWEVAH......there WAS
a historic type battle fought on this date and that would be right up Maidens alley (or lower); or perhaps I should joke that they already wrote a "wedding" song and post the lyrics to Hallowed Be Thy Name, I shant. This of course is all hypno....hippothem......make believe, so allow me to describe a Maiden tribute to your buddies impending wedded *cough* bliss.
It would be in the key of G.
It would start out with the ubiquitous Steve Harris "trotting" descending bassline (Doombitty doombitty doombitty...).
A slow building "rata-tat-a-tah rata-tat-a-tah ratat-tat-a-tah tickity TAT" would kick in
Then Paul Dianno (Yes, early Maiden would better suit this tune) would belt out a "come on YEAH!" and all Maiden-ish heck would break loose as the guitars do a nice harmonized "Dee-dah d'dah, dee-dah d'dah dee dah dee dun-uh-nuh nun-nuh-nuh" type thing. It's pretty easy to capture this for anyone that wore out the first album, "Killers" and "Maiden Japan" (I own "Maiden Greece!" on VINYL EVEN!). If you really want TAB for this gimme a few days to putter around and find my insta-tab program. Here's some lyrics set to a Phantom of the Opera/Charlotte the Harlot-ish song....

Wed or Dead?

She took your heart
You'll take her hand
You lost your head
I understand.....

But all the boys
who love their toys
think that you've gone mad.....

Don't waste your time tryin' to expliain....
All they understand is pain.......
They'll get in your head and eat your brain.....(um, this IS early Maiden we're talking about, man.)
Don't listen when they say...

then the chorus I guess, probably some join in/audience particpation thing like..

Better DEAD, than wed!
they yell..
Better DEAD, than wed!
it's Hell...
Better DEAD, than wed!
you cry...
Better DEAD, than wed!
But why?

Then the Maiden "Bum bum bummmmmm" break followed by a little mellow, interludey (I made word!), overused but warm and familiar arpeggiated b5 chord type thing...

This is where Dianno was better than Dickenson, which, to some Maiden fans is heresy to say, but true.

Oooooooooh, but you look into her eyes.....
and you know love's true....
Yeaaaaahhhhh, you look into her eyes......
and know that love's for you.......

Cuz you, you foudn out that blah blee blah blah blah...
There'd be more lovey dovey type words for a bit and then the slow building "Trot" and drum thing would start up as Paul would hold the last note out and build with the music... Yeah....love is for youuuuuuuuuu..ooooooooohh......whooooaaaaaa.......yeeeeeeeeeee-AAA-AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!

Do I need to go on? If you know Maiden, you get it, if not, you'll never get it.


I'll be answering these one post at a time. Here's what you have to look forward too.


2) I've read too much Sci-Fi for my poor little brain, but one thing has always stuck with me: I think it was Odd John in which a little girl was able to telekinetically remove the fluid from an all too full bladder, and release it far away. In a Haiku, please describe the sensation of your bladder being suddenly voided.

3) I've been hearing rumors about "vintage" beers; beers that are brewed with cinnamon, coriander, naked virgins sacrificed under a full moon... Simple question: Are you on board? If not, tell me how Belgian Trappist beers are the best ever tasted (kind of a personal love, you may have noticed -- but if I'm wrong, lie to me anyway!)

4) This one's for your hard-core crowd: You've always promised to detail the 'Vanessa thing'. Have time or distance allowed you to expand on the theme?

5) This is my blog, so I get more than a little leeway. Is that a word? It is now! So: Describe Lascivious Polyphony, not as it is, but as you have experienced it! That is, give me a run-down of the last several years in half-forgotten innuendo and amusing crossovers. What does the person who isn't in my brain take away from that which is Lil' Ol' LP?

What does Downtown Julie Brown say? Wubba wubba wubba.