It's nadah toomah

I think I'm dying.

I've been sick all week. My head hurts. My tummy hurts. My back hurts. Methinks it's the flu.
....or ebola.
.....or "The Plague".

.....cooties?

I think I'm dying.
I blame the Hippies.
Bastards.

(end sickness stuff)

I thought my GF was pregnant with my miracle baby. Yeah. She's been feeling uckey lately and she kept saying "If I didn't know my tubes are tied, I'd think I was pregnant". So I was all like, "Well, you DID say awhile back that you went to push/lift something at work and felt something kinda *POP* and a bit of pain, right? Maybe you popped stuff loose and now you're bakin' my spawn right now.". I'm romantical like that n' shit. So I tell her that she needs to find out, cuz the hole required for a wee lil spermy guy to fit through doesn't need to be all that big and that I paid attention in health class back when I was 13 and I 'member that once the egg gets all pregified it has to drop down so's what the baby can grow and if she's still mostly tied in the tube department the baby could be trying to grow in a tight space and it no likey. It no likey to the point that something could *POP* in a bad, very bad, horribly bad way or at the very least our kid's gonna have one leg shorter than the other and/or has to take the short bus to school. Any kid of MINE is gonna have enough problems as it is having me as it's father, we dont need to slap Hunchback of Notre Dame (The catherdral thingy, not the college football team that totally BLOWS this year. Poor, poor, Gipper.)-ness on it.

So.....

She goes and gets the test (she had to pee on it! Uck! Bleh! gack! Barbaric, hey?) and we wait.....

No baby. Which is both good and bad, right? Good cuz she's not crushing our baby to Carnival freak show proportions. Bad cuz the odds that I'da knocked her up what with tubage tied, safe sex (not always), the fact that I might be sterile (childhood injury that is too painful for me to retell. Ever. My boys are feeling sore just thinking about it.)....it was like a million, bazillionty to one, right? That'd been sweet. It would be some unbelievable shit like the Colorado Rockies baseball team going to the World Series?

What?

THEY ARE?!?

HOLY SHIT!!!

Meh.

No baby.

No miracle baby for Jerk to brag about.

I think I'm dying.

Not like dying dying, but dying like Bugs Bunny "Oooooooh, I'm DYIN' again!" takin' that penguin to the South Pole when really, he was from Hoboken dying.

I no feel good.

I'm WAY behind on posting crap I've been tagged with.

Hey, at least I posted something, right? Something slightly interesting even.

Be good.