Happy Easter!!

On this day we celebrate Jesus and his return from the dead.

And by "we" I mean people who are true believers and by "Jesus" I mean The Saviour, not my coworker.

Jesus of Nazareth (The city, not the "Now you're messin' witha....a sunovah biiii-iiiitch!" band. No wait....was that Molly Hatchet? No, it was Nazareth; but maybe I shoulda said "Love Hurts" cuz it would be less sacrilegious. HM....Nah, Jesus was badass in his own way, so I'll stick with Hair of the Dog/messin with a sunovah bitch.) faked his own death way before Elvis or Tupac and we celebrate his return by...

Is it just me or was "The Judas Strikes Back" just a much better book in The Bible than "Return of the Jesus"?

Anyway.....
The faithful celebrate this occasion by going to church on Easter Sunday and listening to some guy go on and on about how cool Jesus was and how we should all try and be cool to each other. You know, completely different than all those other Sunday's people go to church and are told how cool Jesus was and how we should all try and be that cool to each other. The only real difference is that on Easter Sunday, you're not pissed that you're missing a football game and there's going to be a shitload of food to tear into.

All the non or pseudo-believers will celebrate by telling their children that a magical bunny came during the night to hide hardboiled eggs and candy around the yard, then, in true heathen like fashion, they bite the heads off of bunnies and lil chickens and eat way too many jellybeans while listening to Black Sabbath or Ozzy from the Randy Rhodes era.

All the Pagans celebrate the coming of Spring and wonder why in The Goddess's name the Catholics can't come up with their own holidays and have to swipe all the good stuff from the Druids. OH, and I'm sure there's some type of naked dancing in the moonlight done by some really hot Goth chicks. I've never been able to find where they do it though, and trust me, I've asked. Apparently you have to "join" and Jerk aint much of a country club/we all wear the same jumpsuit and Asics kinda guy.

Jerk, who is of the Agnostic persuasion (Crimson and Clover?) celebrates by sometimes going to his Gramma's house and eating too much and/or just waiting until tomorrow when all the black jellybeans go on sale for a $1 a bag.

I'm not sure what the Jewish folk do on this day other than avoid Mel Gibson.

However you celebrate, may your God bless you and don't forget to brush. All this sugar binging gives dentists a hard-on worldwide. They already went down to the Mercedes-Benz dealership yesterday to test drive shit.

Peace and all that good stuff on ya.