Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Sensitive Jerk

If you are a halfway decent looking woman between the ages of 25 & 40 and you can play the 1st violin part of The Sea and Sinbad's Ship (Largo e maestoso — Allegro non troppo) from Scheherazade by Rimsky-Korsakov, if you can play any of it for me, I will make love to you as if you are the only woman in the world, the most beautiful gift ever bestowed upon mankind, the very definition of lust, passion, romance, the very thing that men throughout history wrote about, sang about, longed for, died for, lived for, cried for, strived for, the one shining light in a universe of darkness.....I will hold you, touch you, kiss you.....not with just my hands and lips, but with my soul, it will be as if every fiber of my being embraced you, warmed you, eased you.......yes, I would make love to you as if you were HER, the abstract, almost mythological HER, the be all end all of my hearts existence...for one shining moment you will be the only thing in the universe and you will exist in rapture. I will give all of me....all of me...to you......for this.

Or

I'll say "Wow, that was awesome! You're really good! PLAY IT AGAIN!!".

Take your pick.

3 comments:

Ev said...

what will playing it on a kazoo get me?

Wendy said...

wow! I'll take the first...uh, yeah maybe my husband wouldn't like that.

I can read music, what will that get me?

Jerk Of All Trades 2.0 said...

I can be pretty shallow, but you need more, WAY more, than musical talent to get that kind of passion in reality from Jerk.

The kazoo is an under appreciated instrument though.

Um....what's with all the boobage all of a sudden? I'm a leg/buns man.