My Interview with Jen-tertainment Weekly

Jen over at Casual Slack had a tag/interview thing up and I was bored and she was bored and we were bored and you're prolly bored or else you wouldn't be here reading this so...

ready
set..

go.....................

1. If you were to add a 13th month into the year, where would you put it and what would you call it? I'd call it Shmebruary and I'd put it between February and March because it would just sound silly anywhere else. PLUS, if I had put it after December it WOULD be the 13th month and all the supersitious wussies and UBER-religious nutbags would FREAK every time it rolled around. By putting it after Feb, it makes December the 13th month and since all the big Holy holidays (batman!!) are there it will keep the masses calm (Baa-aa-aa).

....and what "holidays" would you invent for your month? Shmebruary 3rd would be "You Rock!" day, a celebration of everything YOU. All day long people would be expected to high-five eachother and say "Hey, you rock!" or some variation thereof. I have a feeling that Shmebruary parades would kick ass. The best part? No tax on Shmebruary 3rd. Shmebruary 4th would be Quiet Day.

2. What was the last thing you purchased for yourself
and what do you think you will purchase next?
I think it was shoes. I got some Converse Chuck Taylor lowtop slipons. It's like wearing slippers all day long. They're awesome. Next up? Not sure. I'm gonna need furniture in a couple months. I need to save up if I'm gonna buy this sweet lookin couch from IKEA.

3. In your humble opinion the Best Invention Ever! is...? Well, first off, I think the woman who came up with the blowjob should have statues all over the place even if children wouldn't be able to look at them or understand why she's never standing, but since I think "bj's" are a technique or skill rather than an invention AND since "The Wheel" is overused I'll go with Refrigeration.

4. If you could play any character in a movie (past or present) - which character/movie would it be?
There was this one movie where a guy got to nail like 8 different girls, all of which were actually hot or cute and liked to have their hair pulled, but since we're probably talking about mainstream stuff I think I actually could've played the role of Brodie from Mallrats easily since that's pretty much me ('specially that part with the kid on the GODDAMN ESCALATOR!! Where the phuc WERE his parents?!!)

5. What would be the three main rules if you ran your own country?

1) Annual competency testing. Failure means deportation to the USA, where idiocy is rewarded. (Hi Dubya!!)
2) No combovers.
3) Be excellent to eachother.




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