ko, NOW it's Saturday and Saturday Night's alright for fightin'.

Not that I want to fight. I'm a sleeper, not a fighter. Not a sleepr like in Dune or that Woody Allen movie, sleeper as in zzzzzzz. Oh, and not a sleeper as in I'm a deep, deep undercover spy just waiting for someone to call and say my "trigger word" or something like "The teddy bears ran out of potato salad at their picnic and someone went and put raisins in the cole slaw and f'ed it up for everybody cuz really, who wants to sit there and pick raisins out all afternoon or worry that maybe it's NOT a raisin but a bug." or some shit. Just the zzzzzzz. Dig? I knew that you could.

Hey, can we retire "baby bump"? Please?

Can we also retire all of young Hollywood getting interviewed and asked if they care about their image or effect on young America? Cuz they don't. They dont give a shit in the slightest and in my case, the feeling is mutual. You know how much it's going to affect me when Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan is found laying dead in the back alley of some club with a broken heroin needle in her arm and a Louis Vuitton limited edition cock ring in her mouth? Nada. At the most I'll say "Damn, people will buy ANYTHING as long as it's got that ugly brown and gold pattern on it.". Heartless? No. I just don't feel sorry for people who do things to themsleves. Those folks who had the bridge collapse on them, the Katrina victims, that girl who was a friend of a friend back in my early 20's who was born with an unfortunate pig-like nose....those guys I feel sorry for. Li-Lo, Nicole Ritchie and the like.....River Pheonix had more talent and potential in his little finger and my life went on perfectly fine without him. Sure, it'll be sad. Death aint cheery. But really? Meh. Just sayin.

I like pie.

Hey, if I started calling Pork Rinds "Swine Zest" would I be able to charge a crapload of money for them at a restaurant? I'd have a kid come around like they do with the peppermill "Swine-uh Zest, Mess-yoor? Swine-uh Zesss, Meh-Dom-uh?" and he'd crunch some up in his hand and sprinkle them on yer plate or maybe you'd grab them out of a bowl with special Swine Zest tongs. Yeah, tongs is the way to go.

La Zjee-urk Cafe du POP! (The pop is that thing you do where you make an O with your mouth and smack it with your hand.)

I think I'd have other cool shit on the meu at my fake frenchy restaurant. Like maybe Pate Cake on the kids menu. Croquette Mallets.... Tons of stuff.

The best part would be the over the top "Monty Python & The Holy Grail" outraaaaaaaageous Fronch accent I'd make everyone use.

Meh.

OK, one more blog post down.

Peas are gross. Fuck speelcheck. (Get it! spEElcheck?! HA! I kiil me! Get it?! kIIl....ah, nevermind. :P )

Meet ya back here tomorrow.