My thumb hurts

I sliced it open in a bizarre plumbing accident. It won't stop bleeding. It's not doing a lawn sprinkler/arterial bloodbath thing, but it won't stop. Did I mention that it hurts?
I get up in the middle of the night and here water running, more like BLASTING from somewhere. I go downstairs and see the kitchen sink going all out. It's one of those one handled faucets that you pull up/push down and turn for hot or cold. It won't push down. Won't budge a phuc. I wiggle it and lean on it, get it down to a drizzle finally. No prob, I've seen this before. It's some kind of washer or rubber gasket thingy. I"ll turn the water off under the sink and get to it tomorrow. Cold turns off, but the hot knob is stripped like a Playmate on New Years Eve.

So...

I get up to turn the water off in the basement and set right into a soaking wet part of the carpet. How I stepped over it when I came in I have no idea, but one SQUISH later and I can tell this is a bigger problem than I thought.

Phuc.

I go down to the basement and I'm suddenly in a WWII sub-marine movie! Water is dripping or downright pouring from where the main pipe is right under the kitchen sink. All that was missing was a dim red light, that "arrroooo-gah arrroooo-gah!" sound and some guy yelling in german for me to brace for emergency surface!
Water everywhere, big puddle, rug soaked. Squish squish squish, reach up and turn off the main water lines. As I'm turning one off I can hear the water blasting again upstairs!

Fuck.

I get back up there and decide to try one more time to get the hot water line shut off under the sink. I get a rubber band to help get a grip on the stripped knob thingy, get the wrench on there and as I"m going to torque the damn thing my arm bumps the drain pipe. The whole thing pops loose like it was never attached!

FUCK!

I push it back up and on to the bottom of the sink and that's when I see why there's water everywhere. The upswing part of the elbow/U- part of the pipe has simply disintegrated. All this time the water was blasting, and I don't know how long it was, it's been pouring out the bottom of the sink like a waterfall.

So.......

Now, I"m thinkin....ok, I've got some pvc pipe crap laying around, maybe I can rig a temp patch job McGuyver type thing to hold it for the night and tomorrow til I get the manager of the complex over to fix it. I barely get ahold of the pipe to see if I can push it up a bit (remember,it popped loose from the bottom of the sink) and it crumbles like candy glass and slices a chunk out of my thumb and stabs part of my hand.
Great...so NOW, I'm thinkin that I'm gonna have to get dressed (I've been in my boxers this whole time) and go to the emergency room to get my thumb stitched up. Lovely, bright red blood is streaming down my hand. I should've taken a pic, it was very artsy. If I put it up in B&W it'd be a highly downloaded pic amongst Goth kids 15-19. Hand held out, palm full of blood...a thin little stream of it running down my wrist and forearm. Dammit, I should've taken a picture or maybe YouTubed this whole thing. Meh, maybe next bullshit crises.

No sleep last night. I kept waking up thinking I was hearing water running even though I turned it off.

Did I mention that the kitchen is a mess? I have to clean it up, without water, and THEN get this shit fixed.

My thumb hurts. It's slowed, but won't stop bleeding.

The worst part of all of this, is that when I did get a little sleep, Patty Smith showed up in my dream and sang "Because the night". What the hell does THAT mean?

My thumb hurts.