The Long Walk

It's as if years ago I just jumped in my car and started driving.
I just drove.
There was no destination.
I jusst drove.
There was music, and the sun and the road.....
The road....
Sometimes I floored it to see how fast I could get it to go....just to feel the speed, the wind, the excitement.
Other times I simply cruised.
Occasionally I pulled over and talk with people.
I didn't care who they were, where they came from or where they were going.
I just enjoyed the company for awhile and then drove off again.
Still no destination.
I just drove to drive.
I just drove to drive.
Then, one day.....

I ran out of gas.

I ran out of gas and found myself in the middle of nowhere.
In the middle of the night.
No one around for miles.
Nothing as far as the eyes could see......

And then I looked up.
I looked up and I saw a million stars.
A million million stars.
I saw them and I fell to my knees.....awestruck by the beauty and sheer fucking VASTNESS of it.
I fell to my knees and started to cry.
I started to cry because I saw that there was so much more..SO much more to it all than the road.
So much more than just driving.
Going.
Moving with no direction.
There's so much more and I don't know how to get to it.
So I just start walking.
I just start walking.
I walk but the stars don't get any closer.
They don't get ANY closer.
I get tired.
I get SO tired.
So fucking tired.
So I flop down and I sit and I cry again.
I cry again.
I cry and then, when I'm tired of crying....I look up again.
I look up and the stars are still there.
SO many.
So many.

So.....

I get up.
I get up and then I hear them.
Others.
I hear others out in the dark.
I hear them, and they are crying too.
I can't see them, but they're out there.
They're out there.
I hear them and I see that I have two choices...
I can keep walking....
Or..
I can lay here and cry with them.
I'm tempted.
I'm SO tempted.
The walk.....the stars...they don't get any closer.
They don't get ANY closer.
I am so tempted to just lay down again.
I want to.....
but I hear them.
I hear them and they sound so sad.
SO miserable.
Fuck, I hear them.......

So I start to walk.
I just keep walking.
It's like driving, and yet not.
The drive was nothing.
For nothing.
To nothing.
Nothing.
But the walk....
the walk....
The walk seems like I might get there.
I might get THERE even though I don't know where or what THERE is.
So I just keep walking....

I keep walking and I'm so tired.
Fuck I'm so tired.
...and the stars don't get any closer.
They don't get any closer.
They don't get ANY closer.
They don't get any closer...but when I pause....
I hear THEM again.
I hear them and i remember how it feels to lay there.
To just lay there...
I can't.
I can't.
The stars won't come to me if I lay there.
I might not get to them by walking either, but they won't come to ME.
Laying there....is worse than the drive.
looking back I see that the drive took me away from things.

So I just keep walking.
I keep walking.
I keep walking, but the stars don't get any closer.
The stars don't get any closer.

They don't get any closer.

I just keep walking......