To: J. Frost c/o Captain Morgan Party Island, Carribean

Dear Jack,

While I appreciate getting free days off of work (Like today. Woo hoo!) hitting us (Denver) with two (and it looks like a 3rd on Saturday) Blizzards in a row is a bit much. I'm not sure what we did to piss you off, but hey man, you and I have always been cool right (COOL! Get it?! Ha!)? Can't you cut back just a lil? Hm? Remember that time in Vegas when I told you to show off your ice scuplting skills to those showgirls and help out that club when their icemaker went down? Remember the Coffin sisters? Dude, seriously man....take it easy on us (ME) this weekend. We go way back, and you kinda owe me one.

Thanks,

Jerk

P.S. OH, and don't forget who hooked you up with all those "cold shoulder/and my old lady calls ME frigid!" jokes.