This is (was) a long one, and before you get started I'd just like to say that "TIPTOE" by Goldfrapp is the coolest fucking song in the universe right now, and it's been added to the "her" soundtrack.
When I'm not bored out of my friggin mind (which should be a good thing with all the scary shit I have floating around up here) at my job, or sitting around clipping articles out of SPY magazine and pasting them into issues of Highlights to redistribute to doctors waiting rooms all over town or watching "Spuiten en Slikken" thinking "Whoa....my hair pulling fetish/control/dirty talkin thing is NOTHIN!", I like to try and think all deep n stuff.
Sometimes, since I do have a large brain, I actually stumble upon some profound shit. I then quickly wipe my feet and plan a trip to Famous Footwear (Free plug = Free shoes baby!).
HOWEVER, sometimes no matter how much I wipe my mental feet something sticks.....stays with me.
I have had an epiphany.
NO, a real one.
NO really, this time it's different.
What?
YES.....I KNOW I said that last time.....and the time before that.
.....and the time before that.
...BUT I'm SAYIN....
This is one that's sticking.
This is one that didn't just make me say "Well, I'll be damned...I was wrong about that. Hm..".
No.
This one made me sit here with an even dumber look on my face than usually, with my mouth hanging open like "she" just walked in wearing nothing but my Gretzky Kings jersey (The old cool black/silver one!) and a plate full of Pepperoni Pizza Rolls.
(Which, I've heard, they might not have in Canada. You poor, poor soUls....)
What?
Don't look at me like that.
This one had me taken aback!
....and I don't even know what the phuc "Taken aback" even MEANS!!
It's so friggin clear.
I've been so STUPID.
Ya know...this was a MUCH longer post til I came back and did the edit thing. It was a rambly, bordering on crazy-talk....weird thing where I wasn't explaining crap right at all.
It boils down to this..
I finally have a GOAL.
I know what I WANT in life and I've been going about crap (or most of the time NOT going at all), the wrong way.
I know what I need to do to get my shit together so that everything will fall into place.
When I get to the end of my little trip here, hopefully by the end of next year (or two..who knows..), I'll have what I WANT even though it might not be what I think it is now. It's like saying I WANT a blue ___, but by the end of my goal list it might actually be a RED _____, but that doesn't matter because it's the _____ that is the important thing not the coloUr.
(There's a fun Mad Lib for ya to do!)
Meh.
I got stuff to work on.
I am working on it.
When I'm done I'll be a better person and in a better place for good stuff to be all up on me.
Dig?
Good.
Holla at yer Jerk!
Peace.
P.S. I think only Wendy read the whole first draft. Sorry about that Wend!
It was a long, painfully wandering.....thing.
Sorry.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
This post v 2.0
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4 comments:
Hi J.
So you're back! I hope things are getting better for you. Fo real though.
I wish you tons of luck in achieving the goals you've set for yourself, and also, congrats on making those goals! I have none and feel like a lost soul right now, but hey, maybe I can use you as my inspiration!
Dez =)
i read the whole thing too. you are on my bloglines, natch. :)
reminds me of a song...
No one's going to sympathize when we crash, They'll say "you hit what you head for, you get what you
ask" and we'll say we didn't know, we didn't even try, one minute there was road beneath us, the next just sky
hook it up, playa. it's worth it.
even though i have absolutely no idea wtf you're talking about.
I read the first one too. You 'splained it better than you think.
That aside, YAY! for you on your epiphany :)
you got it j! keep the goal in front of you. see it. feel it. every day. imagine it in detail over and over until it seems more real than reality. keep that up and it HAS to come to you. it's the law of attraction. if you continually focus on your goal, a way to acheive it will appear.
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