You were wrong

Dear Kierkegaard,

I thought you got it. You fooled me. I read a few quotes and a bit you wrote on love and I thought you got it. I thought I had found someone on the same page. I thought that yes, you saw the pointlessness of all this, but embraced the beauty, the joy but instead I found you were simply a sad, pathetic fucktard. All you did was wallow in your mire of self-loathing. YOU let the woman you loved, the woman you COULD HAVE been with, marry another man, not because you felt unworthy (although I'm sure that was part of it), but because it allowed you one more thing to get depressed about, one more thing to BITCH about as you "Boo hoo...it's all fucking pointless"-ed yourself to sleep every fucking night. How truly sad that you didn't even believe your own bullshit when it came to love. Fuck you. Fuck YOU, Nietszche, Sartre......fuck all of you who sat or sit and do nothing but wallow in your pain. FUck you.

I'M NOT GOING TO DO IT ANYMORE!!!!

DO YOU HEAR ME!!

Fine, you want to, go right ahead. Cry, moan, SOB about the fucking pointlessness of all of this, the non-sensical RANDOMNESS of the universe. Scream at a God you fear isn't there, yet desperately hope IS there. Bitch about how the great IS doesn't listen to you, answer you, alllows bad things to happen....

Sit and roll your eyes at those who sing, dance, and LOVE all around you while you yell "What the fuck are you so happy about?! Can't you see it's useless? It's all fucking POINTLESS?! You fucking IDIOTS! HA! You foolish, foolish souls! HA!". Do it! Shake you head at them as they live in the light and you shiver in the fucking shadows to afraid to step into the warmth becasue it's "Pointless". How fucking pathetic you are!! I was YOU! I can't believe I wasted so much of my fucking life like YOU. Afriad. Worried. Curled up in a fucking ball sobbing about how unfair life is, how there's no meaning to it. NO MORE!!! There IS meaning you fuck. It's the meaning you MAKE. Whether there is a GOD or not, the MEANING of life is what you WANT IT TO BE!! Pout, cry, BITCH all you want! You WANT pain? Fine, take it. EMBRACE YOUR FUCKING PAIN! Hug it, kiss it, tuck it in a night and stroke it's forehead "Goodnight my love.....I'll see you in the morning and you'll be bigger and stronger and even harder for me to deny". DO IT. If it's a sad, painful life you want then that's what you'll HAVE. YES, there is no point to this. There is no justice, no fairness....Bad things DO happen to good people and vice versa, but you can control some of it. YOU have total control over how YOU live, how YOU react. Fuck you Soren Kierkegaard you sad fuck. You deserved to die alone (and don't we all) because it's what you WANTED.

"Boo hoo....no one understands me. I'm so smart and I have so much to offer but it's all pointless...blah blah blah".

What a fucking waste.

The point is to be YOU. To live for YOU. To do what YOU want. Yes, to be selfish and in your selfishness you spread happiness, joy....LOVE. You take care of your child out of LOVE, not because you HAVE TO. YOU feel joy when you do it. You love your child whether they want it or not. You hug them whether they want it or not. You do it for YOU and they benefit. If you live your life for YOU, you will be happy and happiness ripples outward throughout the lake, the ocean, the universe. I see it now, i GET IT, but I can't seem to find anyone else who truly believes. I hear some saying it, but truly, since I am not THEM, I will never know if they BELIEVE. I can only know ME. I can only control ME in all this universe. I cannot think for you or as you. I cannot love for you, laugh for you, dance or sing FOR you...I have to be selfish. I have to be ME for it's all that I have, all that I truly OWN in this entire universe, this entire reality.....all I have is ME. NOne of this matters, but ME and it's the same with YOU. YOU are the center of YOUR universe. YOU control every fucking aspect. You wonder how so many "evil" poeple get away with so much, how they get power, how they seem to get all the GOOD things while you have NOTHING? Because they fucking went after them! They got up off their ass and said "THAT'S MINE!" and grabbed the fucking thing without any worry as to how YOU'D feel. They are SELFISH to the nth degree. YOU, you as the GOOD person, you could just as easily jump up, knock them on their ass and yell "NO! That belongs to ALL of us!", but noooooooooooo, you'd rather whine about how un-FUCKING-FAIR it is!!!

WAKE THE FUCK UP!!

Wake the fuck up sad, lonely people! The thing that's keeping you sad and lonely is YOU. Look in the fucking mirror, it's YOU that's keeping you where you are. I know because I was there! I was the fucking POSTER BOY for doing nothing but wallowing. "Boo fucking hoo...poor poor ME.".

You enjoy it, YOU keep doing it and LOVING the fact that you know the secret "shhhh....it's all pointless. We should all just kill ourselves because there's no reason to be here, no MEANING to any of this. I'm smart, and I get it while you don't because you're an idiot who finds joy in watching reality TV. That's so STUPID that you like that. You shouldn't LIKE anything because the universe SUCKS. I'm not happy, so I'm going to SHIT on you and ANYTHING that gives you JOY. I know the secret. This is all pointless." Make love to it, fuck your sorrow and pain like the dirty little whore it is. Do it. Embrace it and yet STILL find no joy in the love of your own pain. Sadness and pain begets sadness and pain....it never ends. There is no joy, no love there, but it's what you want or you'd change it. You can change it as easily as flipping a fucking switch but you choose not to.

I was there. I know how it is, but I'm tired of it. I'm SICK of it. NO more! NO fucking MORE do you hear me?!

I'm so fucking tired of the sadness. SO fucking TIRED of the pain, the darkness.....the loneliness...
Tired of being like a small child too afraid to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of the night because I imagine all sorts of demons waiting in the darkness to devour me, so instead I shiver in a pool of my own fucking PISS til morning and punish myself for being such a coward!

There are no demons, unless I want there to be. I am not a coward unless I believe myself to be one.
I think therefore I am, and such is life.
I will not create a dark world.

I'm sick of it.

Yes, my dear Kierkegaard and fellow existentialists, you were halfway there, but you failed to push through your own bullshit and walk through the door, you preferred to peak around the threshold and laugh at those who stepped into the light.

You know what?
Those people....those FOOLS as you see them, you know what they do?
They LIVE. They LOVE. They LAUGH. They do all those things. They have children and pass those gifts along to them, and then....then those poor fools die, just like you, just like we all do, but, and here, in this case Soren and your fellow wallowing, painmongers, here the jokes on YOU for those people went through the same pointless existence and died HAPPY. Even their mourners couldn't be sad for long, for they remember all the JOY of those peoples lives.

Die sad and broken cursing an unfair world if you want, but I'm going to follow the fools from now on, for at least if nothing else, they're having a much better time waiting for death.